ASSOCIATED PRESS RECOGNIZES BIZARROWORLD!!!!!!!!!

IN THE WAKE OF MASTERFUL SIKE* FROM ED AUGUSTUS JR., THERE HAVE BEEN MANY QUESTIONS ABOUT PROCESS OF FINDING A NEW CITY MANAGER.

WERE THERE SOME SORT OF QUO PRO QUID DEAL???

WILL MICHAEL GAFFNEY SOMEDAY BE EATEN BY A MONGOOSE??????

HAVE RICK RUSHTON GONE COMPLETELY INSANE?????????

 

 

WHO CARES!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

AP_LUKES

ME GOT A MENTION IN THE ASSOCIATED PRESS!!!!!!!

YOU CAN SEE MY NAME CLEARLY BURIED IN 7TH PARAGRAPH, AN ASIDE WITHIN AN ASIDE, BETWEEN TWO DASHES, IN ALL ITS MONOLITHIC GLORY!!!!!!!! BUT ME GET MENTION IN FREE PART OF TELEGRAM!!! IF THAT AM NOT FAME, ME DON’T NOT KNOW WHAT AM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOW ME CAN FINALLY MATCH TURTLE BOY’S 15 MINUTES OF FAME AS THAT GUY WHO CALLED FELGER AND MAZZ ONCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GLORIOUS VICTORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HOW DID ME NOT MAKE IT TO BIGTIME????? ALLOW ME TO DEMONSTRATE WHAT PEOPLE IN WORCESTER THINK ABOUT POLITICS, IN LINGO THE KIDS STOPPED USING IN 2012:

Worcester_no1curr

IF PEOPLE CARED, ME NEVER WOULD HAVE SURVIVED TWEETS THAT BOMBED WORSE THAN JOE PETTY AT WORCESTER’S ST. PATRICK’S DAY ROAST. AS IT AM, WE ONLY CARE WHEN SOMEONE TRIES TO MAKE KELLEY SQUARE EVEN WORSE!!!!! AND THEN WE PROMPTLY FORGET THINGS LIKE KONSTANTINA LUKES SPENDING A YEAR SUPPORTING SCOTT BROWN OR PUSHING A BRILLIANT PROPOSAL TO FILL AN ENTIRE POND!!!!!!!!

BUT LAST YEAR, WE HAD HELP NOT CARING!!!! TIM MURRAY AND WORCESTER REGIONAL CHAMBER OF COMMERCE HIVE-MIND MADE THE WISE DECISION SAVE A FEW BUCKS AND SKIP TELEVISED DEBATES IN FAVOR OF OBTUSE QUESTIONNAIRES NO ONE WOULD EVER FIND IN A MILLION YEARS!!!!!!!

THE UNEXPECTED TWIST… RECORD-LOW TURNOUTS!!!!!!!!!

TRULY, TIM MURRAY AM A MAN WHO KNOW HOW TO REACH THE HEARTS AND MINDS OF WORCESTER’S VOTERS… AND DO ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WITH THEM.

YOU WILL GET A BETTER LOOK AT HOW BIZARRO WORCESTER CAME TO BE (ORIGINS STORIES == PAGEVIEWS) SOON ENOUGH.  BUT FOR NOW, REFLECT ON HOW MEANINGFUL YOU MIGHT USE TIME THAT WOULD INSTEAD GO TO VOTING. BECAUSE WHEN YOU STAY SILENT, YOU HELP BIZARRO WORLD BECOME REALITY!!!!

TOCK, TICK…

TOCK, TICK……

TOCK, TICK………

* – (SHAMELESSLY DEFACED AND STOLEN ADAPTED FROM THOMAS CAYWOOD)
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One thought on “ASSOCIATED PRESS RECOGNIZES BIZARROWORLD!!!!!!!!!

  1. […] US NOT NOT FORGET, IN LIGHT OF MY RECENT INFAMY, THE NEWS THAT ED AUGUSTUS II, ELECTRIC BOOGALOO, HAVE RECENTLY BEEN INSTALLED AS OUR NEW CITY […]

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