Monthly Archives: June 2015

BIZARRO WORCESTER’S 1-POINT PLAN FOR PROMOTING HEALTHY ONLINE DISCUSSION

Continue reading

Advertisements
Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

COUNTDOWN TO THE INVETTIBLE: A BIZARRO LOOK AT THE 2015 WORCESTER ELECTIONS!!!!! (PART 2 – DISTRICT DIATRIBES)

CONTENT OF TABLES

PART 1 – COMMITTEE CHAOS

PART 2 – DISTRICT DIATRIBES

PART 3 – AT-LARGE ANARCHY

PART 4 – MAYOR MAYHEM

 

HAVING EFFORTLESSLY DECIDED THE 2015 WORCESTER SCHOOL COMMITTEE ELECTION BEFORE IT EVEN STARTED, WE NOW TAKE THE HERCULEAN TASK OF DECIDING WHO SHALL REPRESENT THE 5 DISTRICTS OF WORCESTER AS DISTRICT COUNCILORS!!!!!!!!!

OR, AS THE AT-LARGE COUNCILORS PREFER TO CALL THEM, PAWNS.

GEORGE RUSSELL OF DISTRICT 3 AND GARY ROSEN OF DISTRICT 5 AM RUNNING UNOPPOSED. THEREFORE, THEY AM SURE TO LOSE AND NO MORE NEED BE SAID ABOUT THEM.

HOWEVER, WE STILL HAVE TWO EXTREMELY CONTENTIOUS RACES IN DISTRICTS 2 AND 4 AND WE GUESS ALSO ONE IN DISTRICT 1!!!!! AND SO WE ONCE AGAIN MUST TAKE OUR KINGMAKING SKILLS OF USING GOOGLE AND THROWING DARTS AT DARTBOARDS TO DETERMINE WHO AM MOST FAVORED TO WIN!!!!!!!!!!

AS BEFORE, WE SHALL CURATE MASTERFUL REPRESENTATIONS OF EACH CANDIDATE IN THE INTEREST OF UNFAIRNESS. IF WE HAVE DONE OUR JOB CORRECTLY, BY THE TIME WE ACTUALLY HAVE TO MAKE AN ASSESSMENT AND PREDICTION, YOU SHALL BE GIGGLING AT THE PRETTY PICTURES AND COMPLETELY IGNORING THOSE PREDICTIONS AND THEIR POINTLESSNESS WITH FIVE MONTHS BEFORE ELECTION DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WE AM MASTERS OF CLICKBAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Continue reading

Tagged , , , , , , , , , ,