COUNTDOWN TO THE INVETTIBLE: A BIZARRO LOOK AT THE 2015 WORCESTER ELECTIONS!!!!! (PART 3 – AT-LARGE ANARCHY)

CONTENT OF TABLES

PART 1 – COMMITTEE CHAOS

PART 2 – DISTRICT DIATRIBES

PART 3 – AT-LARGE ANARCHY

PART 4 – MAYOR MAYHEM

 

ONE MIGHT THINK THE REAL POWER IN WORCESTER’S GOVERNMENT WOULD LIE IN THE MAYOR’S OFFICE OR THE CITY MANAGER’S OFFICE OR OF THE GUY IN CHARGE OF DISTRIBUTING SHAQ ARIZONA STRAWBERRY CREAM SODA TO WORCESTER.

IN FACT, THE AT-LARGE COUNCILORS OF WORCESTER CONTROL WORCESTER’S GOVERNMENT LARGELY BECAUSE ONCE ELECTED, THEY NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER LEAVE POLITICS!!!!!! WHEN THE INVETTIBLE NUCLEAR HOLOCAUST FINALLY STRIKES, THERE SHALL BE COCKROACHES… AND AT-LARGE COUNCILORS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AN ASTONISHING 18 CANDIDATES WERE FIRST NAMED FOR THE FIELD. BUT PAUL COONEY JR AND RICK RUSHTON BOTH DECIDED THEY WOULD RATHER HAVE LIVES AND SO NOW WE HAVE A STILL-LIVELY FIELD OF 16 TO CULL TO 12 ON SEPTEMBER 8TH!!!!! BUT BEFORE THE SEPTEMBER RUN-OFF, IN WHICH WE EXPECT HUNDRED OF CITIZENS TO PARTICIPATE… WE IN BIZARRO WORLD SHALL MAKE THINGS EASY FOR YOU AND DECIDE WHO SHALL GOVERN YOUR MISERABLE LIVES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BECAUSE WE PLAN TO SAVE THE MAYOR’S OFFICE FOR A FOURTH UPDATE TO STRETCH THIS NONSENSE EVEN FURTHER, MICHAEL GAFFNEY AND JOSEPH PETTY SHALL BOTH RECEIVE A SEPARATE UPDATE.

WE ASSUME PETTY AND GAFFNEY RETAIN THEIR COUNCIL SEATS.

AS ALWAYS, ALL CANDIDATES SHALL BE DIVIDED INTO THREE GROUPS WITH NAMES IN A VAGUE REFERENCE TO HUMOR. EACH CANDIDATE’S BIOGRAPHY SHALL INCLUDE EXPERT ARTISTIC RENDITIONS OF THEIR CAMPAIGN SIGNS, FOLLOWED BY NONSENSICAL INFORMATION AND THEN, WITH THE LEAD SUCCESSFULLY BURIED, AN ASSESSMENT OF THEIR CURRENT POSITION. THE LINKS FOR EACH CANDIDATE’S CAMPAIGN AM THE BEST WE COULD FIND WITH 2 MINUTES OF SEARCHING GOOGLE. DON’T HARASS ANYONE ON FACEBOOK, NERD.

NOTE: IN THE EVENT THAT WE CANNOT FIND A CURRENT SIGN TO CRUDELY REPRODUCE, WE SHALL EITHER FIND THE LAST ONE AVAILABLE ONLINE OR — IN THE INTERESTS OF UNFAIR AND UNBALANCED PSEUDO-JOURNALISM — JUST MAKE ONE UP. IF YOU FIND ANY SIGNS WE MISSED AND WISH THEM TO BE ACCURATELY MISREPRESENTED, PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT OR OTHERWISE CONTACT US.

 

GROUP I: PUSH IT TO THE LIMIT

 

KATE TOOMEY

TOOMEY

PRO: GOOD WITH CAT PICTURES.

CON: MIGHT GET MISTAKEN FOR A TURTLEBOY SPORTS ARTICLE OR, IF LUCKY, JUST A REDDIT POST.

PREDICTION:

EASILY THE MOST RESPECTED MEMBER OF THE COUNCIL. DESPITE USUALLY KEEPING A FAIRLY LOW PROFILE IN THE COUNCIL CHAMBER AND CONSISTENTLY VOTING EN BLOC WITH PETTY, PALMIERI AND RUSHTON, HER REPUTATION AM ONE OF ACCESSIBILITY AND OPENNESS. CONSISTENT WINNER OF WORCESTER MAGAZINE’S “BEST COUNCILOR” AWARD, SELFLESSLY USING HER NAME TO IGNITE ARGUMENTS OVER WHETHER OR NOT SHE DESERVED IT FOR SEVERAL YEARS RUNNING NOW.

SHOULD FINISH NO LESS THAN 3RD PLACE.

 

KONSTANTINA LUKES

LUKES

PRO/CON: NEVER HEARD OF HER.

PREDICTION:

A MAINSTAY OF THE COUNCIL SINCE 1990. HAVING MADE A NAME FOR HERSELF BY ATTACKING LEGALLY SHAKY AND POORLY ENFORCED PROPOSALS, IT THEREFORE SEEM ONLY APPROPRIATE THAT HER GREATEST TRIUMPH IN OVER 20 YEARS OF LOCAL GOVERNMENT SHALL BE… THE LEGALLY SHAKY AND POORLY ENFORCED “AGGRESSIVE BEGGING, SOLICITING AND PANHANDLING” ORDINANCES.

AS A STAUNCH DEMOCRAT, WE EXPECT TO SEE HER SHAKING HANDS WITH CANDY CARLSON AT LEAST A FEW TIMES DURING THIS CAMPAIGN!!!!!

WE EXPECT KONSTANTINA LUKES TO EASILY REMAIN WITHIN THE TOP 6, LIKELY 4TH IF SHE CAN MAINTAIN THIS MOMENTUM.

DISLIKE OUR ASSESSMENT?? WE ASK YOU TO REMEMBER HER WORDS:

“If we’re so evil, replace us.”

WHAT AM THE MATTER???? CHICKEN?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

 

MOE BERGMAN

BERGMAN

PRO: ACCURATELY EVOKED THE HOUSE ON HAUNTED HILL.

CON: ANYONE WHO COME WITHIN 10 PACES OF THIS SIGN SHALL DIE IN SEVEN DAYS.

PREDICTION:

AN UNREMARKABLE TENURE FOR THE MOST PART, BUT GENERALLY LOGICAL AND NOT PRONE TO RECENT CONTROVERSY. THIS SHOULD EASILY GET HIM INTO THE TOP 12, AND WE ALSO EXPECT BERGMAN TO DO WELL WITH THE DEBATES.

5TH PLACE.

 

GROUP II: FLY INTO THE DANGER ZONE

 

TINA ZLODY

ZLODY

PRO: A COOL, REFRESHING SIGN.

CON: BETTER DEAL ON WATERMELON AT SHAW’S.

PREDICTION:

GET TO KNOW HER NOW, BECAUSE WE EXPECT HER TO BE YOUR NEW AT-LARGE COUNCILOR. IF NOT THIS YEAR, WITHIN THE NEXT DECADE.

HER WORK WITH STart ON THE STREET HELPED CONVINCE WORCESTER TO DO SOMETHING UNTHINKABLE: GET FREE-THINKING YOUNG UPSTARTS TO LOVE THIS CITY. SHE ALSO GOT THE ALL-IMPORTANT BRIAN GOSLOW ENDORSEMENT AND IF SHE CANNOT GET STUDENT VOTERS TO RALLY, NO ONE CAN.

AT THE VERY LEAST, SHE SHOULD QUALIFY FOR THE TOP 12. BECAUSE THIS AM OUR LIST, WE PUT HER IN FOR THE WIN AT 6TH PLACE AT THIS POINT, AS WE BELIEVE OUT OF ALL THE CANDIDATES WHO WOULD BE A BREATH OF FRESH AIR FOR THIS CITY, ZLODY’S INEXORABLY POSITIVE ATTITUDE ABOUT WORCESTER AND SOLID LOGISTICAL BACKING SHOULD BE THE MOST LIKELY TO ATTRACT VOTERS OVER PALMIERI.

 

PHIL PALMIERI

PALMIERI

PRO: RISING ACTION WITH MINIMAL DENOUEMENT.

CON: BAD THINGS HAPPEN IF YOU MISS THE PRICE OF THE TOASTER BY MORE THAN $20.

PREDICTION:

WE HAVE HEARD WALTER BIRD AND OTHERS OPINE THAT INCUMBENTS FACE AN UPHILL BATTLE THIS YEAR.

THEY ACTUALLY MEAN THIS GUY.

PALMIERI AM BEST KNOWN FOR HIS PITCH-PERFECT 12TH DOCTOR COSPLAY WARDROBE, BUT HE ALSO HAVE BEEN THE 3RD MAN IN WORCESTER’S MAIN EVENT MAFIA VOTING BLOC WITH PETTY AND RUSHTON. HE MOST RECENTLY PRESIDED OVER A SERIES OF MEETINGS WHEREIN HE WASTED THE ENTIRE CITY’S TIME BY ASKING CITIZENS WHAT THEY WANTED IN A CITY MANAGER (OR FOR THE MOST PART, WHAT HE WANTED), BUT THEN JUST PICKING ED AUGUSTUS JR ANYWAY. BECAUSE AS WE HAVE SINCE LEARNED, ANY LOCAL MOOK CAN RUN THIS CITY IF THEY DO WHATEVER THE BIGSHOTS SAY AND LET KATHLEEN JOHNSON DO ALL THE GRUNT WORK.

AS THE COUNCIL’S REIGNING KING OF ORATION, HE WON HIS LAST ELECTION ON TURNOUT SO LOW IT ALMOST LOOKED LIKE A JOHN FRESOLO FUNDRAISER. PALMIERI GOT TROUNCED BY MARY KEEFE LAST YEAR TO THE TUNE OF 21 POINTS IN THE 15TH DISTRICT PRIMARIES, AND HE LOST BY 16 POINTS TO JAMES O’DAY IN THE 14TH DISTRICT PRIMARIES IN 2007. WE HAVE NEVER SEEN A MASSIVE SHOW OF SUPPORT FOR PALMIERI OUTSIDE HIS DISTRICT… OR, FOR THAT MATTER, WITHIN IT, AT LEAST IN THE LAST DECADE.

WE SHOULD NOTE HIS RECENT FORAY ONTO TWITTER AND FACEBOOK WITH REGULAR UPDATES REGARDING HIS CAMPAIGN, SIGNS OF PALMIERI RUNNING SOMETHING AT LEAST RESEMBLING A 21ST-CENTURY CAMPAIGN. ALTHOUGH HE DID POINT READERS TO THE WORCESTER TELEGRAM FOR HIS CANDIDACY ANNOUNCEMENT — THE HARD COPY — WHICH EVEN WE THINK KIND OF MISSED THE WHOLE POINT OF RUNNING A DIGITAL CAMPAIGN IN THE FIRST PLACE.

WE EXPECT PALMIERI TO BE FIGHTING FOR 6TH PLACE. SINCE WE MUCH PREFER DRAMATIC PLOT TWISTS TO A NEVER-ENDING GAME OF MUSICAL CHAIRS (EXCEPT WHEN INTERROGATING PRISONERS), AS ABOVE, WE EXPECT HIM TO BE SEVERELY TESTED IN THE DEBATES. PALMIERI CAN CLAIM A GREAT DEAL ABOUT HIS POLITICAL CAREER, BUT SO CANNOT OTHERS. THAT MAY PROVE HIS UNDOING.

 

WILLIAM S COLEMAN III

COLEMAN

PRO: CONSISTENTLY WON TOP STAR RATING FROM PIE AND COFFEE.

CON: ACTUALLY HOISTING THIS SIGN UP A FLAGPOLE WOULD PROBABLY BE TACKY.

PREDICTION:

ALWAYS A BRIDESMAID, NEVER A BRIDE…

… INCLUDING THIS YEAR.

8TH PLACE. WE HAD HIM SCORED HIGHER THAN PALMIERI, BUT ALTHOUGH WE APPRECIATE HIS LOVE OF TEDDY PENDERGRASS AND THINK HE COULD SPREAD 50/50 LOVE ACROSS THIS CITY, WE SEE LITTLE SIGN THAT THIS YEAR’S CAMPAIGN SHALL BE ANY DIFFERENT FROM THE ONES OVER THE COURSE OF THE PREVIOUS 35 YEARS.

WHAT COLEMAN MIGHT LOSE IN CAMPAIGN LOGISTICS, HE CAN MAKE UP FOR WITH SHEER CHARISMA OUT THE YIN-YANG (REMEMBER: IF YOU EVER NEED TO VENT CHARISMA, USE THE YIN-YANG). HIS PERSONALITY SHALL EASILY GET HIM TO THE FINAL 12. HE EVEN GOT A BUMP FROM TURTLEBOY SPORTS!!!! BUT WE CANNOT PICK HIM FOR THE WIN IN THE 21ST CENTURY WITHOUT A MORE ORGANIZED CAMPAIGN, ESPECIALLY AGAINST THE GOLD STANDARD OF SUCCESSFUL MEDIOCRE LOCAL POLITICAL CAMPAIGNS IN PHIL PALMIERI.

 

KHRYSTIAN KING

KING

PRO: KNOWS WHERE TO DRAW THE LINE — THE BOTTOM OF THE SIGN.

CON: SOME MISCREANT WROTE ON TOP OF THE SIGN.

PREDICTION:

DESPITE HAVING AN OBNOXIOUS NAME TO TYPE, WE SEE A LOT OF PROMISE IN KING’S CAMPAIGN THIS TIME AROUND. UNFORTUNATELY, WE HAVE YET TO SEE MUCH ALONG THE LINES OF MOMENTUM AT THIS STAGE, BUT WE THINK HE CAN PICK UP THE PACE AFTER THE SEPTEMBER RUNOFF.

WE PICK HIM FOR 9TH WITH GOOD POTENTIAL TO MOVE UP INTO AN UPSET WIN IF THE ABOVE THREE SHOULD STUMBLE.

MATT WALLY

WALLY

PRO: CAN COMPRESS GARBAGE INTO NEAT LITTLE BLOCKS.

CON: NON-SLIMMING USE OF STRIPES.

PREDICTION:

WITH HIS MESSAGE OF “OPTING IN” WITH WORCESTER, HE SHOULD APPEAL TO THOSE LOOKING TO “TAKE BACK” WORCESTER (ALTHOUGH AS ALWAYS, YOU SHOULD WORK ON INFANTRY DRILLS BEFOREHAND). FOR THOSE WHO WOULD NOT OPT IN, WE OF COURSE RECOMMEND SOME VERSION OF SOYLENT GREEN. JUST SAYIN’.

IN THE MEANTIME, WE SEE A LOT OF ACTIVITY FROM HIS CAMPAIGN WITH NOT A WHOLE LOT TO SHOW FOR IT JUST YET. WE ALSO NOTE THE USE OF UNLISTED YOUTUBE VIDEOS FOR WALLY’S CAMPAIGN. ALTHOUGH SINCE THEY AM HOSTED BY MARK HENDERSON OF THE WORCESTER SUN, VOTERS SHOULD PROBABLY BE LUCKY THERE AM NO PAYWALL.

OBSCURE EDITORIAL-BASED BURNS ASIDE, WALLY SHOULD MAKE THE TOP 12; WE PUT HIM AROUND #10 FOR OUR POINTLESSLY EARLY PREDICTIONS. WE WOULD RANK HIM HIGHER, BUT WE HAVE SEEN LITTLE TO TRULY DIFFERENTIATE HIM FROM THE PACK THUS FAR.

 

GROUP III: A MANIAC, MANIAC ON THE FLOOR

LINDA PARHAM

PARHAM

PRO: CAN EASILY SEE SHE AM NOT PHIL PALMIERI.

CON: FIRST NON-BIZARRO CANDIDATE TO BREAK THE FOURTH WALL.

PREDICTION:

WITH THE RUB FROM HARRIET CHANDLER AND A DECENT PLATFORM, WE THINK SHE CAN SQUEAK INTO THE TOP 12. HER CALM, UNDERSTATED PRESENCE MIGHT MAKE IT DIFFICULT FOR HER TO STAND OUT AMONG A VERY COMPETITIVE FIELD, HOWEVER, SO SHE MUST FIND SOME WAY TO COUNTERACT PALMIERI BEING PALMIERI TO STAND ANY CHANCE OF WINNING A COUNCIL SEAT.

 

JUAN GOMEZ

GOMEZ

PRO: CLEARLY INSPIRED BY DIANA HACKER’S CLASSIC WRITING GUIDE.

CON: MIGHT LOSE POINTS WITH THE STRUNK CROWD.

PREDICTION:

WITH NAME RECOGNITION AND A DECENT GAP BETWEEN NOW AND HIS PRIOR COUNCIL TENURE, GOMEZ COULD CLAIM A DECENT PERCENTAGE OF THE VOTE. BUT WE HAVE HEARD LITTLE OF HIM IN THIS CAMPAIGN OTHER THAN HIS SUPPORT OF HILDA RAMIREZ. UNLESS HE HAVE BEEN CAMPAIGNING AT MACH GAFFNEY, WE CANNOT CLAIM THE SAME AUDACITY OF HOPE FOR HIS CAMPAIGN THAT HIS SIGN CAN.

BRINGING UP THE REAR IN THE TOP 12, ON SHEER NAME VALUE ALONE. CONSISTENT IN DEBATES, HOWEVER, AND HIS EXPERIENCE SHOULD AID HIM THERE.

 

CARMEN CARMONA

CARMONA

PRO: SUNNY DAY, KEEPIN’ THE CLOUDS AWAY.

CON: ONLINE PRESENCE APPEARED TO HAVE BEEN WISHED TO THE CORNFIELDS.

PREDICTION:

WE’VE HEARD VERY LITTLE FROM CARMONA EXCEPT HER RECENT YOUTUBE COMMERCIAL. NO PUBLIC UPDATES TO HER FACEBOOK PAGE SINCE 2012, AND HER OFFICIAL CAMPAIGN PAGE FAILED TO REVEAL ANYTHING MUCH EITHER. UNLESS SHE HAVE BEEN SCHMOOZING THE LIKES OF WHICH WE TOTALLY MISSED, WE DO NOT EXPECT HER TO MAKE IT THROUGH SEPTEMBER.

 

ROB SARGENT

SARGENT

(BIZARRO NOTE: NO SIGN FOUND FOR HIM.)

PRO: SOOTHING TEAL.

CON: WE PROBABLY JUST MADE SOME HORRIBLE JOKE ABOUT HIS MOM WITHOUT EVEN REALIZING IT BECAUSE WE KNOW SO LITTLE ABOUT THIS GUY.

PREDICTION:

WE COULD BARELY FIND ANY INFORMATION ABOUT HIM OTHER THAN WHAT WORCESTER MAGAZINE POSTED ABOUT HIM BEING THE SON OF A DEPUTY AND HE KIND OF LOOK LIKE HE COULD BE ON DUCK DYNASTY IF HE GREW HIS BEARD OUT. WITH NO NAME VALUE AND MINIMAL PRESENCE, WE EXPECT HIM TO MISS THE TOP 12 IN SEPTEMBER.

 

GEORGE FOX

FOX

(BIZARRO NOTE: NO SIGN OF HIS CAMPAIGN PERIOD.)

PRO: IN WITH THE ANIME CROWD.

CON: ANTI-ANIMAL CONTROL POLICY MIGHT PROVE A DEALBREAKER.

PREDICTION:

WOULD MAKE PUBLIC SAFETY A PRIORITY.

WE KNOW NOTHING ELSE ABOUT THIS GUY. HE APPARENTLY RAN IN 1999 AND 2013, AND WE FOUND NOTHING ELSE THAT MIGHT TELL US WHO THE HELL THIS GUY MIGHT BE. WE STILL THINK HE CAN PLACE 15TH.

 

RON O’CLAIR

OCLAIR

(BIZARRO NOTE: WE COULD NOT FIND AN ACTUAL SIGN FOR MR. O’CLAIR, JUST A CAR DECAL.)

PRO: CHAMPION OF TRANSPARENCY.

CON: CANNOT ACTUALLY SAY HIS NAME ALOUD WITHOUT BEING SUED FOR COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT.

PREDICTION:

ALTHOUGH A STAFF WRITER FOR THE IN-CITY TIMES SINCE THE TIME WHEN ANYONE GAVE A DAMN ABOUT THE IN-CITY TIMES, HE RECENTLY MADE HIS MARK AS A VIRAL SENSATION BY FILMING SOMEONE PRESUMABLY UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF SOME SUBSTANCE AND THEN DOING THE RESPONSIBLE THING: PUTTING IT ON YOUTUBE.

WE OF COURSE LOVE VIGILANTISM HERE IN BIZARRO WORCESTER. BUT WE THINK VOTERS WOULD PREFER A CANDIDATE WHO CAN HELP CHANGE THE SYSTEM, NOT PEE ON ITS ASHES.

ON THE PLUS SIDE, HE MIGHT BE A MORE VIABLE CANDIDATE THAN WILLIAM FEEGBEH.

 

OUR FINAL WORD

WE SEARCHED LONG AND HARD TO FIND THE MINIMAL INFORMATION WE COULD ON THESE 16 CANDIDATES. WE WOULD NORMALLY ASK READERS TO DO THEIR OWN DAMN RESEARCH, BUT WE TRIED THAT IN 2013. INSTEAD OF DEBATES, TIM MURRAY AND THE WORCESTER BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT CORPORATION GAVE US QUESTIONNAIRES NO ONE EVER READ AND TURNOUT TANKED.

THERE SHALL NOT BE A REPEAT OF THAT UNDER OUR WATCH.

AS USUAL, FOR THE MOST PART, WE RANK BASED ON MOMENTUM AT THIS STILL-EARLY STAGE. WITH FEW EXCEPTIONS, THEY DO NOT REPRESENT OUR PERSONAL FAVORITES. WE OF COURSE WOULD PICK COLEMAN, ZLODY, KING, WALLY, PARHAM AND CARMONA JUST TO GIVE THIS CITY A COLLECTIVE HEART ATTACK.

BUT WE DO NOT WANT YOU TO VOTE THE BIZARRO TICKET. OR THE TURTLEBOY SPORTS TICKET. OR THE TELEGRAM TICKET OR THE WORCESTER MAGAZINE TICKET OR THE /R/WORCESTERMA TICKET.

VOTE YOUR TICKET.

PICK THE PEOPLE YOU WANT TO SEE ON THE COUNCIL. BECAUSE THEY SHALL BE THE ONES MAKING DECISIONS ON WHAT YOU DO IN THIS CITY. WHERE YOU CAN PARK YOUR CAR. WHAT SHALL POP UP AROUND YOUR HOME, YOUR OFFICE, YOUR SCHOOL. WHAT YOU THINK OF WHERE YOU LIVE. YOUR TAXES. WHERE YOU BRING KIDS. WHAT YOU GET TO DO FOR FUN AT WHATEVER HOUR OF THE DAY YOU PREFER. HOW YOU SEE YOUR HOME.

WHETHER OR NOT YOUR LIFE SHALL MATTER.

ELEVEN PEOPLE GET TO MAKE THOSE DECISIONS, AND YOU GET TO ELECT 7 OF THEM: YOUR DISTRICT COUNCILOR AND THE 6 AT-LARGE COUNCILORS. TAKE 15 MINUTES OUT OF TWO DAYS OF YOUR LIFE TO VOTE: ONCE ON SEPTEMBER 8TH, AND ONCE ON NOVEMBER 3RD. MAKE YOUR VOICE HEARD. AND IF YOU DON’T LIKE ANY OF THESE 19 PEOPLE… VOTE ANYWAY.

 

OUR COUNTDOWN TO THE INVETTIBLE 2015 ELECTION COVERAGE SHALL CONCLUDE WITH A LOOK AT THE MAYOR’S RACE: PETTY VS. GAFFNEY. SHREK VS. MARK ZUCKERBERG!!!!! MISS IT AND SUFFER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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5 thoughts on “COUNTDOWN TO THE INVETTIBLE: A BIZARRO LOOK AT THE 2015 WORCESTER ELECTIONS!!!!! (PART 3 – AT-LARGE ANARCHY)

  1. […] OUTREACH THAN LEGISLATIVE PROWESS. WE DO NOT EXPECT THE TOP 12 TO BE TOO DIFFERENT FROM OUR PREDICTIONS. BARRING RON O’CLAIR MAKING THE CUT, WE CARE LITTLE FOR WHO SHOULD ADVANCE TO […]

  2. […] Bizarro Worcester pointed out that the diagonals of this sign are like the off-kilter “Dutch angle” movies use “to portray psychological uneasiness or tension.” Signs like Bergman’s and Zlody’s have diagonal elements, but with a minimum of stretching letters. Palmieri’s sign exaggerates the diagonals, to the point where I think it hurts both readability and aesthetics. On the other hand, he’s won several district elections with these signs, so there’s something to be said for maintaining the Palmieri look when running at-large. […]

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