Tag Archives: GOOD TO BE THE KING

BIZARRO ELECTIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

WE CONTINUE RESEARCH INTO WORCESTER.GOV AND HOW IT MAY OR MAY NOT SUCK.

BUT FIRST, WITH A NEW YEAR COME NEW CHALLENGES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ONE OF THOSE CHALLENGES???? IN AN UNEXPECTED TWIST….. PANDIMENSIONAL ELECTIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YOU, OUR READER, MAY PARTICIPATE IN SHAPING THE DESTINY OF AN ENTIRE UNIVERSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WITH ANY LUCK, WE MIGHT EVEN BEAT WORCESTER’S 2013 TURNOUT NUMBERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THREE FACTIONS REIGN IN BIZARRO WORLD. UNLIKE THIS CRAZY WORLD, BIZARRO WORLD AM NOT DIVIDED BY POLITICS. WE AM DIVIDED BY GRAMMAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THEREFORE, WE HAVE GIVEN UNEQUAL TIME TO REPRESENTATIVES FROM ALL THREE FACTIONS. PLEASE VOTE FOR YOUR FAVORITE OR ALTERNATIVELY, VOTE FOR WHICHEVER STYLE YOU THINK WOULD GIVE US AN ANEURYSM TO WRITE.

 

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THE 2015 WORCESTER ELECTIONS: A RAMBLING RECAP OF THE BEST, THE WORST, AND THE INVETTIBLE

FOREMOST AND FIRST, WE THANK ALL VOTERS WHO WENT TO THE POLLS IN SPITE OF NOT BEING ABLE TO WRITE IN A BIZARRO VOTE. WE KNOW THIS MADE YOUR CHOICE DIFFICULT.

ALTHOUGH WE CANNOT CLAIM A TRUE SENSE OF PRIDE OVER A 21.3% TURNOUT (DESPITE IT BEING THE HIGHEST TURNOUT BY PERCENTAGE SINCE 2009, AS NOTED BY BIG SMARTY-PANTS REPORTER AND SPELLCHECK-BREAKER NICK KOTSOPOULOS), WE CAN AT LEAST TAKE SOLACE THAT IT TROUNCED 2013’S TURNOUT OF 14.4%!!!!!

THEREFORE, LET US TAKE A LOOK AT SOME OF THE WINNERS AND LOSERS OF THE 2015 ELECTIONS IN WORCESTER.

SPOILER: NONE OF THE LOSERS SHALL BE US. WE GOT ALL OUR PREDICTIONS RIGHT. ESPECIALLY OUR PICK FOR MAYOR.

 

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